Wednesday, 10 June 2015

Writing sample

This term my focus in writing has been complex sentences we created a story based on the video (Shown below) of the mouse for sale. After we have finished the story we colored the complex sentences red.

Big Idea:
A complex sentence is a sentence with a dependent clause and an independent clause or a simple sentence.  The independent clause can stand on it's own but the dependent can not so you have to add it to the start or end of the independent clause like this.  Pushing it open, I stepped inside the old door
The green is the independent clause the red is the dependent clause.

Feedback and feedforward: Great job Bellso! I like the way you wrote it from two points of view. Next time you could work on your spelling. Ana

I think that I did a god job with the layout of my story if I had more time I would edit it more and make sure that the two points of views are not confusing.

1 comment:

  1. Bella, you have shown an excellent understanding of how to use complex sentences and it shows in the detail you have crafted for your reader. I always really enjoy reading your writing as you have a unique way of capturing the reader by using personal voice and descriptive language. I look forward to reading more of your pieces. Next step? Hmm a tough one given that I know you already know that sorting out simple writing features is something you need to do and are already trying to do that.